I was talking to a northern friend of mine over the weekend about tailgating at Tech games and at college football games in general. I'd gone with the same friend to the Jimmy Buffett concert in Frisco, Texas, the week before and he was amazed by the tailgating scene there. I told him if he really wanted to be impressed he should come to the 'Burg or really any college town in the South on a college football Saturday.

Really the whole tailgating phenomenon blew his Michigan mind. I know tailgating exists up there, but he didn't grasp why we felt tailgating was a necessity for everything. There isn't a single event in life that wouldn't be improved by tailgating. We do it for concerts and sporting events, but really what this country needs now is more tailgating.

With the recession, the H1N1 swine virus shenanigans and everything else going on in the U.S. what we really need is more beer and burgers before everything we do.

Congressional Hearings

Did anyone bother to tailgate the colossal waste of time that was the BCS congressional hearing on Friday? If there was ever a time to tailgate before a political circle jerk it was at those BCS hearings.

It involved college football, so someone better have been out in front of the Capitol cooking dead animals and doing beer bongs.

Funerals

I've always liked funerals that are a celebration of life more than they are grieving a loss. And there's no better way to celebrate life than by getting wasted in honor of a good friend.

When I die you people better tailgate my funeral. And it better be good. I want my funeral to be the party of the year. Tons of Wild Turkey, Johnsonville brats, etc, etc. And if Larry and Clota are still alive when I leave this piece, I have no doubt this will be the case.

I will haunt all of you for the rest of your lives if anyone is sober during my funeral.

Movies

I'm going to the midnight showing of Star Trek when it comes out May 8. Hate all you want, but this movie's going to be awesome. According to the commercial I saw it has sex, explosions, Vulcans and is about how Kirk and Spock met. Fantastic.

But, it would be even better if I showed up to the Warren Theatre in Moore at 6 p.m. and spent six hours "preparing" to see the movie. We'll grill Tribbles and everything.

Give me more suggestions of what would be improved by tailgating in the comments.

Linkage

Hokies

- A breakdown of possible Big Ten expasion. (College Game Balls)
- The BCS would kill off some unneeded bowl games. (The North End Zone)
- The Currys aren't obsessed with not being offered by VT. That makes two people. (Roanoke Times)
- Can Steve Brumby be VT's next MLB player? (Roanoke Times)
- Another set of brothers will attend Tech. (Virginian-Pilot)
- Hokie Hoop could get a transfer from Florida. (Daily Press)
- Did the defending ACC champs get better? (Roth Report)

ACC and Opponents

- Fearless Leader Swofford repped the ACC on the Hill. (Annette)
- The Doc isn't a Parrothead. Screw you, Hinton. Phins up, mother phuckers! (Dr. Saturday)
- Jeff and Brian discuss O-lines and opponents. Jeff is afraid of the Hokies this year. But not as afraid of what will happen when Mrs. Jeff finds out he's been straight from the orange juice jug. BTW, Brian is getting married soon as well. I plan on tailgating it whether or not I'm invited. (BC Interruption)
- Saint Nick's love-hate relationship with his own fanbase. (Roll Bama Roll)

Stuff Only I Care About

- Chicago is going crazy for playoff hockey. (Globe and Mail)
- Varlamov stole this Sid-Ovie show. (Japers Rink)
- It doesn't matter. I'll still call it Joe Robbie. (Buffett News)
- Amalie Benjamin (who I love and in a heartbeat would give up my hard-drinking, road-tripping bachelor ways for) notes that the injuries keep piling up for the Sox. (Extra Bases)