Yesterday, SB Nation College Football writer Peter Berkes introduced a new metric to the landscape of sports: the "College Football Entertainment Index, or CFBEI for short." I would've called it the fun-o-meter (trademark pending), but that's just me. But naming issues aside, I bet you wonder how this metric is calculated. Well, according to the post:
Here's how the CFBEI is calculated:
The following stats are accumulated, with each team ranked 1-124: scoring offense, scoring defense, total points per game, margin of victory/defeat (indicated by +/-), adjusted pace (Football Study Hall explanation), and F/+ (Football Outsiders explanation). Those rankings are then added together, with the lowest sum representing the most entertaining college football team.
This metric is intended to reward teams that play in close, high-scoring games and run a lot of plays along the way (whether Bret Bielema likes it or not). Scoring defense and F/+ are included to counterbalance things a little, and provide some reward for overall quality and defensive prowess.
The result of said parameters? Well, not so good for the Hokies, who ended up No. 54 on the list. But don't cry Tech fans (or at least not yet). I've come up with several perfectly good reasons for why the Hokies are more fun than you might think. After all, I didn't pick possibly one of the most depressing pictures in our entire photo bank for no reason did I? So, without further ado, I give you the reasons why the Hokies are more fun than you might think:
- It's really cool to be able to know every play your team is going to run before they actually run it. I'm sure the other team's defense is completely oblivious to this as well.
- At least if you have to facepalm, you do it with such frequency that your face goes numb, therefore making the process relatively painless.
- You have to watch every offensive snap carefully because there is a legitimate chance that the Hokies will punt on third down.
- You remember a time when there was a chance of an exciting special teams play, and that memory alone will suffice. Right? Right? C'mon guys, am I right!!!?
- We like field goals. Lotsa field goals.
- We make SUPER COOL paper airplanes. YAAAAAAAAAAA'LL
- Most of us are still cool even if we do have some Miami Heat fans in our fan base (seriously, if you leave games early, don't come back)
- We don't play just the tip, we STICK IT IN! STICK IT IN! STICK IT IN! (no matter what Jim Weaver says) That shows how many fans used to do this chant before it was made illegal by our Athletic Director. But if you really want to know what our red zone song went like (the lack of which I blame our current red zone woes on), here you go:
- TURKEY LEGGGGGGGZ!
- MOAR FRANK BEAMER DANCING!
- Our defensive coordinator can do more manly cartwheels than any other team on this list combined.
- He also is the king of this badassery:
- Our starting cornerback is a philanthropic centaur:
- Who is also a rapper:
- And speaking of rap, BLACKSBURG BABY DO IT BIG!
- But before we get too far from the point, maybe we should say something about this song. Your team doesn't do this:
- People come to our spring game:
Here's how the stadium looks, and still filling up. pic.twitter.com/W1iFg2KfMT— Trevor (@TrevorSGreene) April 20, 2013
- And last, but certainly not least, we went through one of the worst shootings in U.S. history and still managed to do THIS:
LET'S GO HOKIES!
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