"Let Me Be Frank": A Book Report

Paul Abell-USA TODAY Sports

[Ed. Note: Bumped from FanPosts. Thanks to Charles for his laugh out loud-worthy FanPost. Good stuff man. Also, note that we will be publishing our own book review of Beamer's Let Me Be Frank in the coming days.]

Since it's probably going to be a while before a book on tape, which would take too many DVDs to record with Frank doing the narrating anyway, i've decided to frame the contents for you.

Chapter 1: Why we don't store kerosene in unventilated places that heat up during the summer.....why i learned everything i ever needed to know in Kindergarten in Fancy Gap

Chapter 2: Boring ROTC stories and that time I picked that one ball off playing for Tech....lucking out with Cheryl

Chapter 3: Murray....zzzzzzzzzzz

Chapter 4: Hiding in his basement and avoiding lynch mobs, ducking Dave Braine, and paying for DeShazo's slashed tires

Chapter 5: Hitting the financial jackpot by joining the Big East, the Glory Years (100 pages on this 7 year span)

Chapter 6: Stiney and Me and the Empty Trophy Case, Tech joins the ACC, creates illusion of being a dominant program in the same way most of us would be the tallest midget in the room.

Chapter 7: Marcus Vick, the genesis of Hokie Respect and the resulting loss of season ticket holder's brain cells that accompany each home game's reminder about Hokie Respect

Chapter 8: Glennon and Me and the Dusty Empty Trophy Case

Chapter 9: A program's last gasp, an empire falls at the hands of Stanford in the Orange Bowl

Chapter 10: The 10 win season, it's relative lack of greatness and other assorted myths

Chapter 11: Beamer the Mad Scientist, on trying new, unsuccessful offenses, and getting lost on the drive home down Airport Rd.

Chapter 12: Epilogue...which if you have read this far will require an epipen to revive you. The author leaves it as though the ending is still to be decided, but we readers all have a pretty good idea how it's going to go.

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