bloviating Stories - Gobbler Country
TIM TEBOW AND ABORTION MAKE FOR POLITE REASONABLE CONVERSATION
None of this Tim Tebow as fetus exemplar bullshit matters, because Cthulhu's going to eat us all when and how he chooses, unless Raptor Jesus intervenes, and then best belee they gon drink and fight oh belee dat. RAPTOR JESUS WILL WIN WITH HIS ARMY OF RAVER CHILDREN BEHIND HIM: If the Tim Tebow...
THE INCREASINGLY INACCURATELY NAMED BIG TEN FOLLOWS THE MONEY
Yesterday the mothership's Big Televen Borg covered the possibility of conference expansion from a multitude of angles, many of them cautiously negative, however resigned: "We don't want traditional conference rivalries diminished." "The extra week at the end of the season helps keep the student...
ROOFTOP LIKE WE BRINGIN' 88 BACK: SPOTTY DOTTY BCS RAMBLING
Rooftop like we bringin' '88 back. That's the line originally ringing through our brain while considering the new BCS pimp's comments about bringing back the original bowl system. Fine, if you're going to be a colossal dick right out of the gate and threaten us with straw men, then bring froth the...
THE DIMENSIONS OF A FOOTBALL FIELD, OR OFFSEASON BLOVIATING ON LIMITS AND FOOTBALL
Set up any game, and it's borders are what give it life and meaning. Not all these spaces are equal or limitless: A cricket pitch is usually a rough circle bordered by stands, but is by definition not limitless. In Grand Cayman, we once watched a cricket game where the players stood in a sandy,...
IDIOT SLOW DOWN: YOU ARE NOT READY FOR 2009
Idiot...slow down... We can't believe we're saying this, but the offseason may be moving just a bit too fast in one respect: just poring over even an nth of Phil Steele's 2009 College Football Preview convinced us we're not prepared for the 2009 season, as in "going to an ant party wearing a suit...
THE DIGITAL VIKING: EDSBS’S GUIDE TO SPICY LIVING.
It's a long offeseason. In an attempt to vary up the somewhat fatigued Friday rotation, we will change it up with various lab experiments, including The Digital Viking: The EDSBS Guide To Spicy Living. The five categories are Drink (obvious), Comestibles (Food/Snack), Combustible (Shit what blows...
MIKE LEACH, ARMY OF DARKNESS, AND HOW TO SET UP A POKEMON TOURNAMENT
The other thing we wanted to say here is how reminiscent Mike Leach's idea for a college football playoff is of something out of a video game, a multi-tiered Super Smash Brothers game, a kind of mathematical palace of trial and error done with a kind of enlightenment-era procedural logic producing...
THE DIGITAL VIKING: EDSBS'S GUIDE TO SPICY LIVING.
It's a long offeseason. In an attempt to vary up the somewhat fatigued Friday rotation of non-sequitur posts called the Corrections, we will vary it with various lab experiments, including The Digital Viking: The EDSBS Guide To Spicy Living. The four categories are Drink (obvious), Comestibles...
THE EDSBS INAUGURAL SPEECH, 2009
HT: Kleph, via Paste's Obamiconme widget. [/placeshandonATHFSeasonThreeDVDcollection] I stand here before you humbled by your choice as your college football meta-chronicler. Literally hundreds of you stand before me today. I will not forget your choice; nor will I remove the annoying Zwinky ads,...
BLOGPOLL, WEEK ELEVEN: COMPLETELY DYSPEPTIC AND LOST
The arrows may or may not be right--we've submitted multiple, angsty drafts at this point, and the deltas may be completely scrambled now--but the muddle is totally real. Sometime after 8 or 9, this goes to shit completely and totally. Rank Team Delta 1 Alabama -- 2 Texas Tech --...
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