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What to Watch Tonight Other Than the Most Overrated Rivalry in Sports

Why watch UNC-Duke when Rocky III is on? (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
Why watch UNC-Duke when Rocky III is on? (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
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Virginia Tech doesn't have a mid-week game this week so we're expected to Duke and North Carolina battle it out in the most overrated rivalry in sports. There are a few reasons I can't stand it when these two teams play, but most of them concern Dick Vitale and the hyperbole he uses when describing these games. Mostly, I'm not a fan of it because there's no real conflict.

There's no culture clash between these two schools. It's basically a school of rich white kids against a school of richer white kids. Remember that documentary HBO made about the two schools? I went into that thinking it would be great after the wonderful documentary they made about the Ohio State-Michigan football series. Instead, I came away from it wanting to punch both fanbases in their collective faces.

Yes, the two schools are extremely close in proximity, but so are Belmont and Lipscomb. There's the private school/public school thing, but UNC might as well be private. It's basically Cave Spring High School. Any hatred UNC and Duke fans have toward one another can only be considered self-loathing. You want real hate? Go sit next to The Antlers when Kansas visits Mizzou. That, friends and neighbors, is real, genuine hatred.

I've gone through the trouble of perusing TV Guide to find things we can watch together instead of Duke-UNC:

All Time Eastern

8:00 - Rocky III, AMC: My prediction? Pain.
9:00 - Modern Family, ABC: One of the few sitcoms I'll watch.
9:00 - King of the Hill, Cartoon Network: This show's a lot funnier when you've lived in Texas.
10:00 - General Hospital, Soap: Dante's no good for you, Lulu.
10:00 - Charlie Sheen: The Party Never Stops, E!: I love a good train wreck.
10:30 - Cops, G4: Cops goes to New Jersey, where hopefully a few Sitch wannabes will be taken down.
10:30 - Man vs. Food, Travel: Is it just me or has Adam gained about 50 lbs since the show started?