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Virginia Tech Is Better Than Stanford

Virginia Tech is better than Stanford - these are facts.

Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports

According to Wikipedia, my go-to source for all things mathematics, the transitive property can be defined as,

In mathematics, a binary relation R over a set X is transitive if whenever an element a is related to an element b, and b is in turn related to an element c, then a is also related to c.

In mathematical syntax: \forall a,b,c \in X: (aRb \wedge bRc) \Rightarrow aRc, but also shorter R;R\subseteq R.

In English, "My team is better than your team, because we beat 'x,' who beat 'y,' who beat UVA." Via the transitive property, I have deduced that Virginia Tech is indeed better than Stanford, and only worse than one team in college football. This fact squarely places Virginia Tech among the truly elite in college athletics.

Here's how it's done:

  1. Virginia Tech defeated Pittsburgh
  2. Pittsburgh defeated UVA
  3. UVA defeated (surprisingly) BYU
  4. BYU defeated Texas
  5. Texas defeated Kansas State
  6. Kansas State defeated ULL
  7. ULL defeated Nicholls State
  8. Nicholls State defeated Northwestern State
  9. Northwestern State defeated Southern
  10. Southern defeated Prairie View A&M
  11. Prairie View A&M defeated Stephen F. Austin
  12. Stephen F. Austin defeated Montana State
  13. Montana State defeated Northern Arizona
  14. Northern Arizona defeated UC Davis
  15. UC Davis defeated Southern Utah
  16. Southern Utah defeated South Alabama
  17. South Alabama defeated Tulane
  18. Tulane defeated North Texas
  19. North Texas defeated Ball State
  20. Ball State (who also beat UVA) defeated Toledo
  21. Toledo defeated Eastern Washington
  22. Eastern Washington defeated Oregon State
  23. Oregon State defeated Utah
  24. Utah defeated Stanford

Therefore, Virginia Tech is better than Stanford via the transitive property...

Also worth noting is that Virginia Tech is only worse than one team in the country. In case you can't figure this one out yourself...

  1. Virginia Tech lost to Alabama
  2. Who has lost to nobody

Clearly this is an indication of Virginia Tech's superiority in college football. It is my hope that the BCS numbers will reflect kindly on these facts.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum UVA is quietly worse than,

  1. UVA lost to Ball State
  2. Ball State lost to North Texas
  3. North Texas lost to Tulane
  4. Tulane lost to South Alabama
  5. South Alabama lost to Southern Utah
  6. Southern Utah lost to UC Davis
  7. UC Davis lost to Portland State
  8. Portland State lost to Cal Poly
  9. Cal Poly lost to Yale
  10. Yale lost to Dartmouth
  11. Dartmouth lost to Holy Cross
  12. Holy Cross lost to Monmouth
  13. Monmouth lost to St. Francis
  14. St. Francis lost to Central Connecticut State
  15. Central Connecticut State lost to Sacred Heart
  16. Sacred Heart lost to Wagner
  17. Wagner lost to Merrimack (Division II school)
  18. Merrimack lost to LIU Post (DIvision II school)

As you can see, UVA is not only one of the worst teams in the FBS, but also the FCS and Division II. Therefore, they deserve to have their athletic funding stripped and should be relegated to Division III.

Isn't math fun?