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Virginia Tech Football: Introducing Hokie Tracks, ECU Edition!

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Fan overreaction, horrible journalistic analysis, and some, uh...low-hanging fruit. Let's take a gander at the week that was on the ol' Tweeter.

I swear to you, that time lapse video above has cost me about an hour of my life. I can't stop watching it and/or showing it to people.

Anyway, on to the Tweeter:

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REARVIEW MIRROR

Required reading. Test to follow.

If you're an X's and O's type Hokie, this article will make you happy. Helmet sticker to French: he does it better than just about anybody in the biz.

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Nifty article here. My favorite part? Urban Meyer pretty much admitting he was beaten at football chess by Bud Foster. Nicely done, David Teel. Helmet sticker to you, sir.

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Oh my goodness, tOSU has fallen on hard times. The struggle is so real in Columbus post-VT victory. Schadenfreude alert!

When your team is losing and making history (the bad history), I guess the only thing left to do is obliviously dance alone amidst a large crowd of your fellow Buckeyes. I think there's a philosophy paper in there somewhere. Click the expand arrows in the bottom right corner to go fullscreen so you can enjoy the full effect of this one.

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REPORTING ROUNDUP

Interesting and noteworthy pieces for the Hokies' upcoming game.

Are You Kidding Me?

The Hokies sold out every home game from 1998 until last season's home opener against some overmatched directional state school.

beamer get after ya meme

The sellout streak ending when it did was certainly understandable, given the increases in gas prices, ticket cost, and mediocrity. However, the fact that HokieNation can't gather itself to rally around this team after last week's statement win is unfathomable. ECU is no Western Carolina (no slight, I'm sure they're a perfectly lovely school)--they're a legitimate football team...at least this year. If there's no sellout this game, that says more about the state of HokieNation than it does this football team.

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I Guess Someone Had to Do It...

This guy says we're bound to be upset by the Pirates because psychology. Other than that, he doesn't back up his assertion with actual fact or opinion beyond that, naturally, because they just beat THE Ohio State University, Frank's boys are going to have their chest puffed out. Clearly, Greg Vacek doesn't understand much about logic, because in his mind, losing to an SEC team > beating a top 10 team. Maybe Ol' Greg took a psych class once upon a time or maybe he heard about this newfangled term somewhere, but it's pretty apparent that though he invokes the discipline, he doesn't really get it. Why? If he did, he may have considered the fact that a team that has hovered around .500 the past two seasons and CLEARLY underachieved in terms of the expectations of the program and its fans--that team doesn't puff its chest out over one early-season win, no matter who the opponent. No, these guys--particularly the upperclassmen--have experienced the highs of success and the lows of barely squeaking by in your jersey bowl Russell Athletic Bowl game so you don't completely embarrass yourselves as a team and finish below .500 for the first time in about 20 years. For perspective, this BCS game CATCH moment was only 3 years ago:

67843512

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You Say "Potato," I Say...

I mean, either that's the saddest pep talk known to mankind, or... No, I submit that the ECU OC is actually giving his fellas this pep talk:

"Fellas, I don't care if we just lost to the OBC (Ole Ball Coach) and his chickens, you were MADE to be awesome. Now let's go beat those Hokies!".

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Speaking of "...a reason to dance..."

5 seconds of...whatever that was...on national television and in front of 107,000+ > 16 100yd sprints? But wait, there's more! I wonder what that "more" entails. Let's be honest, I just want Bucky to have gone up in Frank's office and have been like:

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ARMCHAIR ASSESSMENTS

Everybody's a coach, everybody's a critic.

That's it. We all might as well go home. Give Trent a whistle and a purple polo then let him on the sidelines: he's figured out the key to, oh I don't know, EVERY FOOTBALL GAME EVER.

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Have we really reached the point in our society where people actually tweet playing time suggestions at schools' official athletics department account? See, this is the fundamental problem with social media: it makes people think they have a voice and gives a platform to garden variety idiots. But it's also very entertaining. BRB, I've got to go tweet @WhitBabcock to get Trey Edmunds some playing time.

PEOPLE OF TWITTER

Somehow, these people actually do exist. Somehow.

Call me a homer, but there's something rather epic about that picture. Maybe it's the lighting, maybe it's the guy perched on top of an Escalade, slightly reminiscent of "Washington Crossing the Delaware".

Leutze, Emanuel (1816-1868) - 1851 Washington Crossing the Delaware, Metropolitan Museum of Art NYC

Probably it's that guy is just standing there all by himself--nobody cheering him on, nobody begging him to come down. He's just all alone having a party of one. Get 'em, guy. Helmet sticker to you, buddy.

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I feel like there's got to be a rehab for people who suffer from that affliction: inpatient therapy, some sort of support group, Pirates Anonymous, something.

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Well now, that's just illogical. First off, if you took a 10 point loss to an SEC school any day, your beloved #undaunted Pirates would be 0-12. That'd probably have an adverse effect on recruiting and such. Also, would you really take a 10 point loss to Kentucky any day? Come on now, fella. ECU's better than that. Don't sell yourself short.

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I call shenanigans on this one. There's no way on the planet if gal is legitimately trashed, she's got the wits about her to manage those little purple and yellow alternating Emoji hearts, let alone to put a football in the middle. Emojis aren't easy to find you know. I mean, the football Emoji is under the bell heading. Someone take Holland to TOTS and buy her a couple rails. Guarantee she won't be able to string together Emojis.

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I can't decide if this is funny or not. Must recalibrate system.

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Well, I can see the Hoos are already starting to hit midseason form. Such defeatists, the French.

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Now JeremyHoo (yep, the same defeatist as above) is starting to come up with some analysis. I'd love to hear his take on how tOSU lost the game and how VT had nothing to do with that. Guest spot? Hey Chuck, do we have a space available?

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Read this one from the bottom up, for my fellow Hokies unfamiliar with TweetBot.

photo

#HooLogic

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Read from the bottom up again.

photo (1)

Situational funny. How many of us have been there? I have to admit: I laughed on "I see what you mean now,".

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WATERCOOLER MATERIAL

To be used to impress your pals, your s/o, or anyone else who will listen.

In '08, Big Greg Boone snagged 22 catches for 278 yds and 2 TD that year. Um, clearly we didn't pass the ball much back then. Through the first two games, Ryan Malleck has 9 catches for 104 yards, and Bucky Hodges has 8 catches for 59 yards and 2 TD. They're comin' for ya, Boone.

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Solid work, Keith and Kyle. Helmet stickers to you both. Can Beamer earmark those 12 G's to pay for security when the Hokies have to go back up to Morganhole? Perhaps a force field that repels batteries thrown by Mountie fans? A vat of spray that renders couches flame retardant? Just a thought.

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Maybe it's semantics, but can we not say "Ruffin McNeill's offense"? McNeill is a defensive fella. Highly doubtful he has a hand in the offensive gameplanning. You wouldn't say Frank Beamer's spread offense, would you? Exactly. Anyway, that's an unbelievable stat, but not atypical of Foster's time in Blacksburg. You might get the best of him in the first half, but he's a master at second-half adjustments. Pay the man. Pay him some more.

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My two heart-dagger losses during that time? Grant Noel for an injured MV7 vs. Miami, when Ernest Wilford dropped the ball in the endzone and Matt friggin Ryan in a deluge when Josh Morgan fudged an onside kick recovery. Flashbacks. Ugh.

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Yeah, that's pretty legit. It'd be nice for one (or more) of those guys to bring home some national hardware at season's end. Gosh, when's the last time that happened? No, seriously: when?

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I agree, particularly considering this season is a complete Robert Frost "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..." moment. This one made a strong argument for the ship having been righted. Interesting to see Cornell Brown agree, though. I'd love to gather 'round his knee and hear his reasoning.

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FASHION CORNER

I can't help it, my second X chromosome is showing. This is Project Runway and I'm Michael Kors. He's the mean brutally honest judge, right?

OMG, yall!!! ECU, like, totally originated black uniforms. Like, everybody else that's, like, wearing them and stuff? Yeah, they, like, totally stole that idea. Something tells me that even though he likely can't state claim to the concept either, the late Al Davis is currently trying to zombify himself, crawl out of his grave, and come strangle ol' Charles.

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Again with people feeling empowered to tweet absolutely anything at an athletic department. I bet first thing after the game, ECU Athletic Director Jeff Compher busted into the locker room and demanded that versus the Hokies, all shirts would be tucked in at all times. You know, come to think of it, if he actually did that like Macho Man Randy Savage did in 1990s Slim Jim commercials, I submit that would be totally acceptable:

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Oh, here we go: Fancy Uniform strikes again. We just can't help ourselves. At least this one's better than the cartoon Hokie Bird disaster or the Blockhead mess from last season. Better, mind you, does not equal acceptable.

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Oop, ECU folks already calling out the mojo. First off, whoever designed VT's newfangled helmets should totally be fired because they completely do look like UNC's. I guess this only further illustrates my point: we've gotten to the point where everybody has special, shiny uniforms. And, if everyone is special, then in truth, no one is special.

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For my kindred nerds out there in Cyberspacelandville.

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Yeah, that's kind of true. Methinks it has to do with the ridiculous facemasks.

1201001P AMERICAN GLADIATORS

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PARTING THOUGHT

I'm just gonna leave this here. And this tweet is as of Thursday, Sept. 11. Adjust your math accordingly.

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Hmm, that's a tough one. Tell us what YOU think in the comments below.