Star Wars: The Force Awakens Hokies Style

I actually saw my first Star Wars movie in the back of my parents Chevrolet Impala station wagon.  I saw it at a drive in.  Most people don't know what the hell I mean with drive ins, but google it.  They were awesome.  It was 1980, and I didn't  know what "The Force" was, or that Luke Skywalker was the coolest dude in the universe, Degobah system included.  I made it about 30 minutes into the film before I fell asleep.  Doesn't matter.  I still saw Star Wars at the drive in.  As the new film approaches, I am equal parts hope and depression.  Let's be honest.  The prequels didn't exactly crush it.  If I wanted to watch a senate vote, I could tune into C-Span.  This new one looks pretty awesome based on trailers, and I hope it recaptures the magic of the original franchise.  Before you start calling me Comic Book Guy, I will wash the Cheeto dust from my fingertips and compare the cast from Star Wars to Hokies future and present.

George Lucas=Dale Baughman, and later Jim Weaver

This guy was the mastermind of the Beamer Hokies from the very beginning.  He had a plan, and hired Frank Beamer.  This decision was not publicly lauded. He cast Beamer into the most important role in the whole production.  Weaver later made sure Beams wasn't heading anywhere ensuring the longevity of the franchise.

Yoda=Frank Beamer

There are so many easy jokes here, it's not even funny.  Instead of going that route, how about the fact that both had illustrious careers as jedis and football coaches?  How about both left in awesome fashion.  Beams left facing an old rival, Yoda left in a little hut in the middle of swamp.  He also disappeared, which is pretty bad ass.  Don't forget both were highly praised and respected!  Trust us you will!

R2D2=Bud Foster

Think about it.  R2 always knows whats up, even before Luke.  He is a master planner, and always produces results.  Bud Foster never gets all the credit, but when the defense delivers, he takes the offstage bow.  I dare you to rewatch the original trilogy and point out a truly monumental mistake R2D2 made that cost the Rebellion.  I also challenge you to find me one defensive series that cost us the game.  Never seeking the limelight, R2 and Foster always seem to find themselves bathed in it.

Storm Troopers=Our Defense As A Whole

Again this is more praise for Foster.  Year in and year out, we produce a beast defense.  We continually produce NFL talent on a .500 squad.  Subbing guys in and out, we still make huge plays.  The names on the back of the jersey might change, but the front never does.

Darth Vader=Bobby Bowden

He sank our battleship.  When all the stars and all the moons (that's no moon)  aligned, we still couldn't take down Darth in his prime.  I'm still wondering how Darth survived that dead spin in a TIE fighter, and I'm still reconciling how Bowden survived the last 4 years of his career.  Florida State represented the Evil Empire, and we were the Lukes of the world trying to pull the upset.  I still hurt over that game, just like cringe when I hear, "I am your father."

Luke Skywalker=Justin Fuente (A New Hope)

We finished our battle with the empire.  There is promise on the horizon.  I just saw a sunset on Tatooine, and friends, it is BEAUTIFUL!  This coach gives me all the hope in the world.  He has been called "The Quarterback Whisperer."   He is a Jedi!  He has already proven he can get talent to Blacksburg.  That's slightly more impressive than gaining admission to Jabba's palace. I hope the results are the same.  The Death Star blows up, and the Ewoks (Hokies) all are dancing in Endor.  Or in this case, Bourbon Street!