Why I Hate Miami Fans: A Lesson In Jealousy

Miami fans are unique to say the least. I met one tonight that graduated from Penn State. Think about that for a second. When he told me he graduated from JoePa University, I brought up the 1986 Fiesta Bowl when HIS school beat Thug U. I asked him why he was a ‘Canes fan. His response completely made sense. “They were cool. They were the antithesis of Penn State football.” This guy, or this guy’s dad, paid tuition to Penn State. I am assuming he has attended some games in Happy Valley. He was wearing a UM shirt at the restaurant with his family. It pissed me off. By now, we all have seen the “30 For 30”. By now, we all realize that Howard Schnellenberger isn’t coming back. Jimmy Johnson isn’t trotting out through the smoke. That was decades ago. Miami is a Big East refugee that hasn’t been relevant since A.L.F. was on the air. 2001 was not that far removed from the ‘99 season with Mike Vick. For all the Coker fans out there, I hear you. That part doesn’t bother me either. Virginia Tech hasn’t exactly been lighting it up for some time now. The issue that really burns my biscuits is quite simple:

“Virginia Tech outclasses Miami in every tangible aspect except one: national championships. Miami fans guard their rings like I guard my social security number. It’s the ace in the hole that my team can’t wield when pressed for provenance in the national conversation.”

Quick check of the interwebs shows Miami with five, count them, five national championships. Our school proudly displays no national championships. In anything. I don’t like Miami fans. They are terrible, but hell, they’ve won 5 times. If Virginia Tech won ONE national championship, the impression would change. Virginia Tech did very well against Miami in the Big East. Miami has done better on the national stage. The “U” at one point in time was awe-inspiring and fear inducing. With the game Thursday, that luster is tarnished, but they still got them rings...