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The Hokies Cannot Escape the Reality of Pokemon

SB Nation has assigned Pokemon to the top college football team. Who ended up being Virginia Tech?

Angela Weiss/Getty Images

There is no way to avoid the reality of Pokémon Go.  I know that I haven’t.  I am fully invested.  The folks at SB Nation have assigned Pokémon to the 129 major college football programs, and the Virginia Tech Hokies have not been left out.

Graveler is the Pokémon that has been likened to the Hokies.

"Virginia Tech: Tough defense, solid ground game, blue collar program. Graveler, a Pokemon that attacks by being a rock rolling down a hill. It's also a Pokemon that could appreciate Metallica."

Graveler is the second evolution of Geodude, and Graveler is the interim form prior to the final form, which is Golem.

I mean, I get it… We are transformative.  The Virginia Tech Hokies are not at the bottom of college football, nor are we at the top, but our potential is robust.  After we give Coach Fuente a few recruitment classes and seasons it wouldn’t surprise me at all if we were to evolve into the Golem form.  I am going to quote the Pokémon wiki so that everyone understands what our potential is.

"Golem’s hide is so hard that dynamite can’t harm it.  When they roll down the mountains they live on, they leave grooves."

So… I think it is clear that we are not to be trifled with… we are going to leave grooves down the mountains we roll down.

Before I let you go, I have to mention the Pokémon assigned to the Virginia Cavaliers, because it is just so fantastic.

"Virginia: Smart school, usually decent on defense, will occasionally knock off a top team, but zzzz, I'm already tired of talking about Virginia. Drowzee, a Pokémon that literally eats dreams."

Of course, with the arrival of Bronco Mendenhall and the shuffle occurring in the ACC the Wahoos are not simply a team that everyone can sleep on anymore, especially over the next few seasons.  Regardless, the description provided for UVA’s football team brings me great joy.

Check out the rest of SB Nation’s take on the ACC and College Football here.