Hi, my name is Roy, and I have a problem. Call it too much money. Call it too much time. Those who follow G.C. on Facebook and twitter will already know what is coming next. I have a serious compulsion. I am redoing the Gobbler Country home office, and I needed some stuff. I needed some Virginia Tech stuff. I have the interwebs, and boy did I use 'em. I was buying stuff on Craigslist (Damn you Craig), E-bay was my heroin. Helmets were my first quarry. I need all of them. I need the "original" . I need the alternative. I need "Hokie Tracks". I need the American Flag scheme. I need Nike Pro Combat. I need the camo. So, I bought 'em. I bought them all. After the first two, I wasn't sated. I needed autographed helmets.
"Why buy mini-helmets, when you can buy AUTOGRAPHED mini-helmets?"
After I had acquired Logan Thomas, I HAD TO HAVE Tyrod Taylor. After Randall, I needed Michael Brewer. There was no pattern to my madness. When the QB fury ended, I set my sights higher. I need to wear what they wear. I needed a game issued jersey to go get my groceries. I needed a game worn piece of Virginia Tech memorabilia. Money was no object (don't tell the wife). It became a sickness. I was watching stuff on E-Bay that nobody in their right mind would buy. Think about that for a second. E-bay is a whole pile of crazy. I was their leader.
The office was shaping up nicely at this point. I felt that this abode was conducive in offering insight into the world of Virginia Tech football. Bobble heads were now mocking my writer's block. Frank Beamer himself was judging my lack of output. I swear to Cassell Coliseum, my Virginia Tech garden troll disapproved. That's when I hit rock bottom. I bid on a Virginia Tech garden troll. I negotiated shipping on a garden troll. I fought. I scrapped so hard on the garden troll deal.
The point of this tale is one of caution. It's cool to love Virginia Tech. It's cool to have a little coin. The problems start to manifest when the two combine. If you need me, I will be the guy negotiating the game used mouth piece from David Wilson.
"The garden troll deal nearly broke me. I was all in, but @kissimeedave26 would absolutely not budge on defrayed shipping conditionals."