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“I live in Roanoke. I want to see the game on the cheap. How much will I pay?”

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No worries, friend. Let Gobbler Country be your cheapo travel agency.

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Holiday Travelers Begin Thanksgiving Exodus Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Oh, how I love this type of assignment. It speaks to my two favorite passions: saving money, and watching the Hokies on the road. First off, a couple of disclaimers. This person “doesn’t know a guy with tickets”. This person is driving a Honda Accord. This person is flying solo. This guy simply wants to go watch the Virginia Tech Hokies play the East Carolina Pirates in person.

Fuel round trip plus getting around town whilst in Greenville: $40.46

The total comes from gasbuddy.com . This was was from a Citgo on Elm Avenue, near downtown. I think it was the one across from the Domino’s on the 581 interchange. I am also guessing that the mileage on said Accord is 30 mpg (highway). That also figures in 30 miles of getting around town during the stay. That’s pretty good value there ya’ll.

Lodgings to rest your weary head after the Hokie victory: $120.00 (plus fees)

The East Carolina Inn is calling me here. At a buck twenty, it’s a deal. Did I mention the free WiFi? Did I also mention free continental breakfast? Come for the WiFi, stay for the Belgian waffles.

Tickets for entry to Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium to witness the beat down: $32.00

They ain’t on the 50 my friend, but you are in the stadium. This luxury seat is located on Upper Sideline 216. It looks like about the 5 yard line from my vantage point on stubhub.com . I never promised you diamonds and pearls.

Money for pregame booze, concession stand lunch, Applebee’s dinner: $48.72

Don’t bang on Applebee’s. You could totally eat at one of Greenville’s Waffle House locations. I’m cheap. I’m not an asshole. I will leave it to you to swing the booze/lunch budget either way you choose. You have $35 to play with here.

TOTAL COST OF A ONE AND DONE FROM ROANOKE TO GREENVILLE: $241.18

RECOMMENDATION: GREAT VALUE AT AN OUTSTANDING VENUE ***/****

Or you could take the dough and stay for 4 hours at the Hotel Roanoke. :/